And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
