I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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