its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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