Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
