Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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