People in love make me want to vomit
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
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