Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
