I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I love having hate sex.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
