so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
