my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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