there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Randomize
