Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
