Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Randomize
