I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
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