its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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