so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
