your thong is hanging out like whoa
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Randomize
