her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize