I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
