But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
