All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
