the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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