I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Randomize
