I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
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