Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
