NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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