i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
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