ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
