I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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