how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize