if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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