i barfeds in our rink
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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