i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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