Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
