Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
