new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
