question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
