after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Randomize
