so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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