I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Randomize
