Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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