when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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