she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
