After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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