I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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