i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize
