Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
ttyl tear gas
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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