i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
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