i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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