So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
