we're blogging at a bar
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
