you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
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