This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
