do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Houston, we have a squirter
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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