I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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