just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
