Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
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